FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts. — New England Patriots quarterback Cam Newton talked about his tough 2020 season in a long and passionate video conference on Thursday, in which he felt like he was saying goodbye.

My only regret is that I wish I had more time to analyze what I really wanted to achieve, Newton said when asked if there was anything else he could have done to contribute to greater personal success.

I’ve been in this league long enough to always be down: Dude, we don’t need preseason. We don’t need OTA. We’re done. Yeah, maybe if I was still in the system where I came from. But to learn this system, you just need more time, you need more real repetition to experience it, because there is a limit to what you can somehow compensate for.

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You can wear eyelashes. You can do the eyebrows. You can apply lipstick to your lips. Mascara and lip pencil. But sooner or later it’s going to rain and you’re going to show the truth. And unfortunately, it turned out… not necessarily in the way I wanted.

Newton, who spent much of the off-season as a free agent before being released in the eighth round. July, signing a modest one-year contract with the Patriots, leads New England to their season finale on Sunday against host nation New York Jets (CBS, 1300 hours Eastern Time). Although he doesn’t know what the future holds for him, he hinted that this would be his last match for the Patriots (6-9), saying there are still teammates he wants to do something with in the future.

In 14 games as a replacement for Tom Brady this season, Newton made 221 of 338 games for 2,415 yards, five touchdowns and ten steals. He had a total of 513 yards on 126 carries and 12 touchdowns. Newton missed a match at the beginning of October and suffered an abdominal muscle injury at the beginning of December.

But Newton said the hardest thing in 2020 is to be away from his children, which means he misses two birthdays, Christmas and milestones, like his son’s first steps.

Fault! The file name is not specified. Pats quarterback Cam Newton said he was ready to leave the year 2020 behind, but added that this year he has learned that he is mentally challenged. AP Photo/Elise Amendola

This whole 86 nights of unemployment thing, yeah, it’s tough. With injuries, yeah, it’s hard. After this season, it’s safe to assume Boston is the heavyweight of a media market. … The slander associated with meeting TB12’s expectations; yes, it’s all difficult. You hear that. But none of this compares to not seeing your children. And by the way, are you worthless? Ah, man.

For me, I can always be better. I could be more consistent. I wish I could take back some of the pitches I’ve had. And yet no one cares more about the conditions than the waves or the tides lying in the water. You’re just worried about lifting the ship and I haven’t done it consistently enough.

Newton, 31, described himself as a mentally unstable S.O.B. when he was asked what he had learned about himself and said that his optimism had helped him.

For me it was like going under the hood – working on the attitude, patience, faith, resilience side of you. What do you do when things aren’t going so well? He said.

Because every now and then this year: My God, what are you doing? What are you trying to tell me? It teaches you patience. It teaches you to believe and understand that sooner or later you will get a break.

I’m not looking for handouts. And in 2020 I’m going to cut a big knot this year, seal and tie. I can buy every lock and key and throw it all away. I don’t want to see the 2020 part. But it made me a better person. That, I believe.

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